


In Memoriam

by kaffee32



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Clint's trying to do things right, Inspired by Agents of Shield, SHIELD Academy, Wall of Valor, might be sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 11:07:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12034620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaffee32/pseuds/kaffee32
Summary: Clint Barton just wants to do the right thing, no matter how hard it might be.This is just a short little story that takes place a few months after The Avengers.  Clint isn't quite recovered from everything that happened, but he's trying.  The idea came to me after re-watching the Season One Agents of SHIELD episode, SEEDS.





	In Memoriam

Clint Barton tried to breathe, as his wife tied a plain black tie around his neck. He’d attempted to do it twice himself, but his hands were uncharacteristically shaky and he’d completely failed both times. Laura didn’t comment on his failure. She just took the tie from him and did what she always did, took care of him with gentle touches and unconditional love. She never questioned why they shipped the kids off to her parent’s house for a few days and came here. She didn’t have to. Laura understood him in a way that no one else ever had, which probably explained why he fell head over heels for her almost as soon as they met. 

They rode to the event separately. That was part of the plan since they couldn’t be seen together. She’d be just another face in the crowd, but one that he knew he could look to briefly if he felt himself losing it. As much as he wanted her beside him, he understood how important it was to keep her and their children safe. Except for Natasha, none of the Avengers even knew about them, and as much as he was sure that they’d have his back, he also knew that there was a deep dark universe out there that they didn’t fully understand. There were ways that he’d never even imagined to find out secrets, no matter how deeply you buried them. 

S.H.I.E.L.D. Director Alexander Pierce met his car when he arrived. The man clapped his hand on Clint's shoulder in greeting, and led him into the building, toward a very large crowd that was already assembled. Clint was never really sure what to make of Director Pierce. He was a hard ass who usually complained about the way Clint and Natasha completed their missions, but he never questioned their ability to get the job done. He seemed somehow shifty, but he was a politician at heart, and Clint knew that they were all like that by nature. 

One of the assistants handed him a piece of paper, and Clint’s hands trembled again as he scanned the neatly printed rows of words. Everyone told him that he didn’t have to do this, that it wasn’t his responsibility, but he knew that there was no one more responsible than himself. Some people would think that he didn’t belong there, since he never actually attended the Academy of Operations, having gone right to work when he was recruited by S.H.I.E.L.D. No one would dare say anything to him, though, because STRIKE Team Delta's reputation still meant something. He squeezed his eyes closed tightly to clear his mind, as the Director took the stage and quieted the crowd.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, in 1933, six years before World War 2 began, General George S. Patton said, ‘Wars may be fought with weapons, but are won or lost by men.’ That was true back then, before S.H.I.E.L.D. was founded, and is still true today. The men and women whose names reside on this Wall were fathers, mothers, husbands, wives, sons and daughters, but they were also agents. They gave their lives for the greater good, and through this Wall, their sacrifice will always be remembered. We gather together today to add to this Wall of Valor, the names of those who gave their lives during the alien invasion of New York City five months ago. May we always remember their bravery in the face of a threat the likes of which we had never faced before.” Pierce paused and glanced over at Clint. “I’d like to introduce one of our own, Agent Clint Barton, who was on the front lines of the battle that day.”

The audience clapped politely as he took his place at the podium and glanced down at the paper in front of him. He didn’t need it. He had every single name memorized, burned in his brain like the faces of his own children. Now, he stood in front of the people who loved them, felt the full weight of their loss bearing down on him, and wasn’t sure that he could do this anymore. 

Searching the crowd, he found Laura blending in with the other mourners. Natasha was standing off to the left and behind her, undoubtedly keeping a lookout. Just seeing Laura steadied him, and gave him the strength he needed to continue. “Never before in S.H.I.E.L.D history have so many names been added to the Wall of Valor, across all three academies, at one time. Today we recognize the courage and sacrifice of each of these brave men and women.”

He glanced quickly at Director Pierce to make sure that he was ready, and began to read from the paper slowly. “Earl S. Angstrum, Ken J. Avery, Ted W. Bailey, Abigail M. Brand……” He continued reading names until he got to the one name that struck him harder than any other on the list. “Philip J. Coulson,” he managed to say, this time glancing up at Natasha for support, or maybe forgiveness. What he found instead was sympathetic understanding, but it was enough. The solemn ceremony continued, until all 47 names were read aloud and each of their plaques were uncovered.

Clint didn’t stick around when it was over. He couldn’t attend the reception and mingle with people who had no idea that he was personally responsible for some of the names on that wall, and indirectly responsible for the rest. Instead, he returned to his hotel and into the waiting arms of his wife, where he was finally able to let go of all the built-up emotions of the day, knowing that Laura understood. 

Eventually, life went on. Fury helped Clint move his family somewhere safer. A somewhat isolated farmhouse on a decent piece of land. It was far enough away from civilization not to attract a lot of attention, but close enough that Laura and the kids could live comfortably, make friends, and lead as much of a normal life as they could. Clint took another few months off to spend with them and get his mind right, before getting back to work.

The Avengers reunited when they discovered that Loki’s scepter was missing after S.H.I.E.L.D. fell. Clint knew exactly what that thing was capable of, and there was no way in hell he was going to sit back and let it be used to hurt anyone else. He owed it to every name that adorned those Walls, and this time he wouldn’t let them down.

**Author's Note:**

> Coulson's name would totally have to be on one of those walls, right? Since to anyone lower than Level 8, or an Avenger, he's dead.
> 
> I suppose this could have been a part of my on-going story, Broken Arrows in the Dark, but I'm not sure yet if it would make sense to cover. We'll see. Thanks for reading!


End file.
